I hear a lot of complaining around the time of Simchat Torah - women complain as follows:
"it is a man's holiday"
"we have no role at all"
"it's like we're not even there"
"all we can do is sit on the side and watch"
This always upsets me because it seems that so many women see "equality" as "being able to do what men do" and if they can't do what men do they don't know how to see themselves in a Torah world.
Why? Why do women think they have to do what men do in order to have a role? Don't they get it that men and women are different and thus have different tasks?
Look, I'll make it simple. Men are made a certain way and Hashem gave them mitzvot to do that fit who they are and how they work and think.
Women are different than men! We are not female versions of men! We are our own type, with our own different types of needs. Hashem gave us mitzvot that fit who we are and how we work and think.
Is it that difficult?
I hear so much talk about women's minyanim, women's reading of megillot, women's simchat Torah where the women dance around holding Sifrei Torah. Does this excite you? Make you wish you could do that? No? Me either.
I love who I am within Torah. I don't want to be a man, thank you. I LOVE sitting in a shul and watching the men, most of whom spend WAY more time learning than I ever will, dance around with the Sifrei Torah, with abandon, with sich love. I am so inspired by that.
And you know what? I could never show that level of emotion in public. I can show it to my kids and grandkids, but in a big circle in a shul? Nope. My sense of personal tzniut is such that those deep, rich emotions stay inside where I nurture hem.
My main thought: be what you are, what Hashem made you with full intention that you should be the best kind of person in the way you are meant to be.
And...if you feel like less of a person, like a "second class citizen" because you are female and you aren't doing what men do, I ask you to re-think that life philosophy.
Stop worrying about what you don't have and be gleeful and grateful about what Hashem gave you. It's more than enough.
"it is a man's holiday"
"we have no role at all"
"it's like we're not even there"
"all we can do is sit on the side and watch"
This always upsets me because it seems that so many women see "equality" as "being able to do what men do" and if they can't do what men do they don't know how to see themselves in a Torah world.
Why? Why do women think they have to do what men do in order to have a role? Don't they get it that men and women are different and thus have different tasks?
Look, I'll make it simple. Men are made a certain way and Hashem gave them mitzvot to do that fit who they are and how they work and think.
Women are different than men! We are not female versions of men! We are our own type, with our own different types of needs. Hashem gave us mitzvot that fit who we are and how we work and think.
Is it that difficult?
I hear so much talk about women's minyanim, women's reading of megillot, women's simchat Torah where the women dance around holding Sifrei Torah. Does this excite you? Make you wish you could do that? No? Me either.
I love who I am within Torah. I don't want to be a man, thank you. I LOVE sitting in a shul and watching the men, most of whom spend WAY more time learning than I ever will, dance around with the Sifrei Torah, with abandon, with sich love. I am so inspired by that.
And you know what? I could never show that level of emotion in public. I can show it to my kids and grandkids, but in a big circle in a shul? Nope. My sense of personal tzniut is such that those deep, rich emotions stay inside where I nurture hem.
My main thought: be what you are, what Hashem made you with full intention that you should be the best kind of person in the way you are meant to be.
And...if you feel like less of a person, like a "second class citizen" because you are female and you aren't doing what men do, I ask you to re-think that life philosophy.
Stop worrying about what you don't have and be gleeful and grateful about what Hashem gave you. It's more than enough.
I might disagree with you here. Yes, perhaps you (and me) do not have that need to dance with a Torah, or layn, or learn Gemara, or do all those "men things." But I respect that some people do need to do those things in order to connect with God and Judaism. And they should be able to have the opportunity. There should be choices for both men and women. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting more and wanting to participate more - it's one way of "doing Jewish," even if it's not your way. I don't think people have to "rethink their philosophy" or "be happy with what they have." We've been changing how we do things for centuries. Why should women stop now? Women didn't used to be educated. Should they have been "grateful for what Hashem gave them?" No, they decided that the status quo sucked and they changed it. Why is it different now? I always think about the pre-Sara Schneirer days. One day, I think, we will say, "Can you believe people used to think women couldn't be rabbis??" the same way we say now "Can you believe people used to think women shouldn't get an education?"
ReplyDeleteAnd that is what I think.
I guess the question is why they feel theI need - what is it that they are missing from what they already have? I don't disagree with change, but first one has to ask oneself, "what am I looking for? what am I going to get out of this? am I missing something I already have?"
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